Your ATTN Please || Monday, 24 March

KFC dropped a new ad... and accidentally gave us all nightmares.

"All Hail Gravy" was supposed to have us craving crispy chicken, but instead, it’s got us craving therapy. The two-minute video features a creepy gravy cult, a mysterious golden egg, and (brace yourself) a deep-fried PERSON floating in gravy. It's gone viral, but probably not how KFC imagined. Maybe next time skip the surrealist horror and just give us cheaper chicken?

- Maggie, Copywriter

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WHAT’S HAPPENING IN MARKETING TODAY?

KFC becomes a cult, Ben & Jerry’s CEO fired & McDonald’s overtakes Starbucks

KFC's new cult campaign goes viral (not in the way they hoped).

“All Hail Gravy” is the latest instalment of the chicken brand's “Believe in Chicken” series. But instead of sending people to their nearest KFC, as I imagine intended, it’s sent them running for the hills. And I can see why. It looks more like a surrealist horror trailer than an ad selling me deep-fried goodness.

The 2-minute spot includes a freaky cult, a giant golden egg, and a deep-fried PERSON in a lake of grotesque gravy. Not exactly appetising, KFC. One X user wrote: “KFC need to stop spending money on these stupid adverts cos what the hell is this golden egg and chocolate river person chicken all about? Spend the money reducing the mini fillet burger back to 99p instead please!” And I’d have to agree with them.

Ben & Jerry’s CEO fired for political activism.

Oh, so no one is safe? Coolcoolcool. For over 40 years, Ben & Jerry’s has fiercely fought the good fight, and done so unapologetically. The brand has mastered the art of sparking cultural conversation. They've raided the Capitol (no, not that time) for voting rights, renamed pints to spread awareness, baked the world’s largest baked Alaska to fight Alaskan drilling, created an unbreakable rainbow for pride... The co-founders have even been arrested in the name of democracy.

Now, Unilever, Ben & Jerry’s parent company, has fired CEO Dave Stever for the exact thing the business was built on. Perhaps this is what happens when a company is acquired by a corporation whose actions clash with the mission. Ben & Jerry’s has had no issue pushing back, though. Recently, the brand sued Unilever to prevent the sale of its ice cream in Israeli settlements following the war in Gaza. The whole conundrum begs the question, can an activist-driven brand survive when its corporate owner is calling the shots? Perhaps not.

McDonald’s replaces Starbucks as the "most valuable" restaurant brand.

However, it doesn’t surprise me that Starbucks lowkey fell off, given the brand valuation dropped by 36% last year. McDonald's, on the other hand, increased its brand value of $40.51B, up 7% versus last year. I always feel like this category is part of the Evil Olympics or something. Lol. Yay! The Big Guys are still winning!! Just in case you were wondering!!

Anyway, that’s all folks!

DEEP DIVE

4 Tips for customer surveys that people actually want to answer

Surveys are usually an afterthought—dry, robotic, and borderline offensive in how little effort they put into actually engaging the customer.

So, here’s an idea. What if you treat a survey like part of your brand experience? Suddenly, people might actually want to answer it. Wow! Most businesses operate under the assumption that no one wants to take a survey. So they dangle a weak incentive—10% off, a sweepstakes entry, the promise of "helping us serve you better." As if that’s enough to make anyone excited about giving up their time.

It’s not. Just trust me. It is not. Because the problem isn’t that people don’t want to share their thoughts; it’s that most surveys freaking SUCK. They literally feel like manual labour – unpaid, mind you – for the company running them.

The biggest mistake brands make is asking generic, uninspired questions and then being shocked when they get uninspired answers.

• “How satisfied are you with your experience?”

• “How can we improve?”

• “On a scale from 1-10, how likely are you to recommend us to a friend?”

Snooze. These aren’t questions; they’re corporate filler. They don’t spark real thought. And worse, they don’t actually help businesses uncover anything interesting. Now imagine if, instead of the usual "tell us how we’re doing" drivel, a brand made their survey questions actually engaging. You know, something that feels like part of their brand’s personality, rather than a sad chore.

So, here's how to make your survey as distinctive as your brand:

@eugbrandstrat says a survey should be an extension of your brand voice. Just like you wouldn’t send a bland, lifeless marketing email, you shouldn’t send a bland, lifeless survey. Here’s how to ask better questions:

1. Make it conversational.

Instead of: “Who do you think our brand would be right for?” Ask: “Tell us about the person in your friend group you'd recommend us to—what’s their vibe?” This takes a generic question and makes it relatable. Instead of forcing customers into rigid ‘customer persona’ thinking, you tap into how people naturally categorise their social circles. You’ll get way more textured (and human) answers.

2. Make it unexpected.

Instead of: “How can we improve your experience?” Ask: “If we put our CEO in front of you right now, what would you tell them to fix?” This shifts the dynamic from "polite feedback" to real talk. It encourages honesty and lets people vent in a way that’s actually useful. Plus, it’s more fun to answer. We’ve learned all too well recently what people think of CEO’s.

3. Make it entertaining.

Instead of: “What did you like about our product?” Ask: “If our product was a celebrity, who would it be and why?” This forces people to think metaphorically. And this unlocks insights that traditional surveys never would. A response like "your brand is like Ryan Reynolds—smooth, reliable, but doesn’t take itself too seriously" is far more revealing than "good quality, nice design."

4. Make it about them.

Instead of: “What’s your favourite feature?" Ask: “What’s something you use our product for that we’d never guess?” This taps into real user behaviour. Customers often innovate in ways brands don’t expect. Maybe they’re using your travel bag as a gym duffel, or your skincare serum as a makeup primer. Insights like these can inspire new product ideas or marketing angles.

When you ask better questions, you don’t just get more responses—you get deeper responses.

You learn what actually resonates with your audience, how they talk about your brand in the wild, and what gaps exist between your perception and their reality. This kind of intel is priceless and can inform:

• Brand messaging (speak in the language your customers actually use)

• Product development (turn those unexpected use cases into new features)

• Customer loyalty strategies (fix what’s broken and double down on what’s loved)

• Marketing campaigns (tailor ads based on real customer insights, not just assumptions)

A survey should be a conversation, not a chore.

If your survey feels like a dull corporate form, it’s going straight into the digital trash. But if it feels like an extension of your brand—a fun, engaging, and actually interesting experience—people won’t just answer it; they’ll give you insights you never even thought to ask for. So, let's stop making surveys feel like a dreaded homework assignment. PLEASE.

-Sophie, Writer

TREND PLUG

Just f@*king shut up, you stupid...

I'm always here for unhinged trending audio. But this one truuuuly gives me the giggles.

From situations like pov you've had enough of your maths teacher to pov when your bike starts to make expensive noises, this trend is for when you've reached the end of your tether, and need something or someone to shut up. It originates from a video by angryginge, a popular football YouTuber. In the clip, he basically tells someone to shut up in his own, unique and very angry way.

How you can jump on this trend:

Jump on CapCut and use the template by TikTokTony. Add a background specific to your shut up situation, add your unique text on top, and voilà, you have a video with your own screaming angryginge on top. Make sure to include the trending audio!

A few ideas to get you started:

• POV the mysterious beeping noise at work pushes you to the edge

• Me when the group chat is popping off while I'm locked in

• POV when the printer keeps spitting out paper even tho I cancelled the job

- Maggie, Copywriter

FOR THE GROUP CHAT

😂Yap’s funniest home videos: The latest fashion trend
❤How wholesome: This ball girl was tough
😊Soooo satisfying: Wax melts
🍝What you should make for dinner tonight: Pink Sauce Pasta

ASK THE EDITOR

I really want to start my own business and want to begin to build my presence on socials. How do I start if I don’t know anything about business yet? -Edwin

Hey Edwin!

The best thing you can do is start putting out as much content as you can. In our team, we talk about how you can create content from 3 perspectives, depending on where you are in your journey right now.

The first perspective is the Reporter. This means you don't know a whole lot yet--you're just learning. So you create content about everything as you learn it. This means as you listen to podcasts, go to events, or read books, make content about what you get out of them.

Over time, you'll probably start creating content as an Expert because you'll know what you're talking about! Then, one day, you'll move onto being what we call the Fool. This is someone who knows enough to realise they actually know nothing! But for now, just share what you're learning. It's the perfect place to start. For more on the 3 stages of content creation, check out Why value-driven content doesn’t work.

- Charlotte, Editor ♡

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