Your ATTN Please || Saturday, 15 February

Out of all of Starbucks’ marketing strategies, their newest one has to be one of the worst.

Alright, maybe it’s not as bad as their Race Together campaign. You know, the one where they thought having your barista bring up racial inequality while steaming your milk was a good idea. But their newest strategy is already leading to equally unhinged behaviour (read on to find out why).

- Charlotte, Editor ♡

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN MARKETING TODAY?

DoorDash Encourages Threesomes, Junk Food vs. Ozempic & Next Ad Gets Cancelled

Hello, my lovely readers!

I hope we are all not only surviving, but thriving, despite, you know, The Horrors.

I also hope you enjoyed my "snippets" section yesterday, because guess what, we’re doing it all over again.

No time to waste, let’s jump right in, shall we?

First: DoorDash wants you to have a ménage à trois.

Yeah, this wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card either but hey, keys in the bowl, I guess. The delivery platform has some spicier than usual offerings for Valentines, and no, I’m not talking about the vindaloo. DoorDash is genius in capitalising on the high demand for deliveries of romantic items around Valentine's. And that include chocolate, roses, and, well, unmentionables.

Starting Feb 12th, the platform is offering limited-edition bundles, with both “sweet” and “spicy” variants. The latter includes a partnership with Hustler Hollywood, marking the brands’ emergence in the intimate category.

The cheeky campaign sees a couple try and decide whether they should order a threesome on DoorDash – since every restaurant is booked, naturally that’s their next best option... right? The hero spot then later reveals the “third” is a delivery of chocolates, flowers, and whipped cream. Hehe.

Next: Junk food and Ozempic go toe to toe at the Super Bowl.

Try explaining that headline to an 18th century peasant. This year’s Bowl was filled with the typical junk-food medley of advertisements. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, oozing on screen, Matthew McConaughey wielding fried chicken wings, Mountain Dew, doing their thing.

Until one ad stopped them all in their tracks. “Something’s broken, and it’s not our bodies,” the ad warns viewers. But there’s a solution: weight loss drugs, like semaglutide, which brand Hims & Hers sells in a compounded form.

The ad was run PSA style, highlighting America's obesity epidemic. And, yes, that meant all the shots of spinning scales, medical scans, jiggling bellies, and grim statistics, all set to Childish Gambino’s "This is America."

I have to hand it to them; it was wildly effective. Like, almost had me googling “semaglutide formulas in New Zealand”, effective. A juxtaposition against the over-the-top indulgences that have become trademark of Super Bow Sunday is an approach sure to stand out. Not to mention, it's a stark reminder that you don’t really need that second helping of blue cheese buffalo dip.

Lastly! While we’re on the topic of weight – high street retailer Next had their ad shut down by the ASA.

The advertising Standards Authority has reprimanded Next after it ran an online ad featuring a model that looked "unhealthily thin.” The ad, designed to promote its “power stretch” denim leggings has since been removed.

“The pose, camera angle and styling in the ad investigated strongly emphasised the slimness of the model’s legs, we considered that the ad gave the impression that the model was unhealthily thin,” the ASA ruled.

Yay to ditching unhealthy beauty standards in advertising! But can we ban jeggings while we’re at it?

DEEP DIVE

Starbucks' Latest Marketing Strategy? Make Underpaid Employees Do More Work for Free.

Starbucks' latest marketing strategy? Make underpaid employees do more work for free.

Starbucks is in its desperate era.

The coffee giant's facing declining sales while struggling to maintain customer loyalty. So the brand has decided to launch a bold new initiative: forcing baristas to handwrite personalised, positive messages on cups. You know, to brighten your day—and, more importantly, to fix their sinking brand.

Unsurprisingly, this has spiralled into absolute chaos.

Social media is now flooded with cup messages. And these range from hilariously unhinged to borderline offensive, proving once again that when you hand the internet a Sharpie, it will not disappoint. Employees have drawn everything from absurd memes to outright insults. And, in some cases, their own thinly veiled cries for help ("This job is killing me," scrawled in elegant cursive, is particularly haunting, but also totally understandable.)

When in doubt, exploit the baristas

At first glance, this might seem like a harmless—if cringy—attempt at rekindling Starbucks' once-iconic third place branding. And it is. But it’s also emotional labour disguised as customer connection.

Starbucks baristas are already juggling impossible workloads. Endless mobile orders. Long drive-thru lines. And the occasional entitled customer demanding a triple-venti-half-sweet-nonfat-caramel-macchiato right now. And now, in addition to making your coffee, they’re expected to be your personal motivational speaker?

I’m sorry, but if I was a Starbucks employee, I’d be throwing your coffee ACROSS THE ROOM.

Worse still, there’s no extra pay for this new initiative. No bonus. No employee appreciation. Just a fresh layer of forced cheeriness piled onto an already overwhelming job.

The return of Starbucks’ PR misfires

If this sounds familiar, it’s because Starbucks has a rich history of well-intentioned marketing ideas that backfire spectacularly.

Remember Race Together? Back in 2015, the company asked baristas to start conversations about race relations with customers while making their lattes. Shockingly, asking a 19-year-old making minimum wage to facilitate America’s long-overdue racial reckoning didn’t go over well.

Then there was the disastrous push to sell olive oil-infused coffee (because nothing screams "great idea" like pairing caffeine with a laxative). That didn’t exactly take off, either.

Now, Starbucks has once again decided that the best way to solve its problems is to make employees do more work for free. And based on the sheer volume of sarcastic, passive-aggressive, and downright absurd messages popping up on cups, it’s safe to say the baristas are not on board.

A Sharpie won’t save you, Starbucks

Starbucks’ real issue isn’t a lack of feel-good moments. It’s a fundamental disconnect between corporate decision-makers and the people actually running their stores. Customers aren’t leaving because their cup wasn’t personalised. They’re leaving because the prices are climbing while the quality and experience are declining.

Meanwhile, the employees keeping the company afloat are overworked, underpaid, and now forced into unpaid brand ambassador roles.

The irony? This might actually be good marketing—just not in the way Starbucks intended. The ridiculousness of it all seems to have people talking, even if it's mostly to laugh at the brand's expense. But whether this translates into actual customer retention is another story.

Until then, baristas will keep wielding their Sharpies. And we’ll keep watching as Starbucks learns, yet again, that forced authenticity is the fastest route to public ridicule.

-Sophie, Writer

TREND PLUG

"Are You Up for a Joyride Later?"

Don't you hate it when people are THAT predictable?

To the point you know EXACTLY what they're gonna say?

That's the theme of today's trending sound, which is a bass-heavy marriage between dialogue from the story-based romance game "Love and Deepspace", and Charli XCX's song "Guess".

In the game, some super-hunk named Sylus smooth-talks you, the player, into some dangerous fun, the conversation going a bit like this:

S: "Are you up for a joyride later?"

P: "Where do you want to take me?"

S: "Guess."

When paired with Charli XCX's sexy bop, you get the perfect audio for situations that, ironically, aren't sexy at all.

We've seen examples of creators using this to describe when they tell people about their horse riding hobby or love of K-pop. Because, every time, they can predict the other person's response, which is either be laughable or just...lame.

How you can jump on this trend:

Use this sound and don't think too hard about what's said in it. The "guess" part is what matters! Film yourself and pair 3 different texts with the 3 lines in the audio.

Use the first one to describe a frustrating interaction you had with someone. Frame it like you're telling your work bestie about some BS Stewart in Finance said.

Put your friend's/coworker's response in the second line and make it a question like "What did he say?" or "What did she do about it?"

Line #3's the easiest - literally just type "Guess"!

Some ideas to get you started:

• You: "He booked the meeting super early, at like 8am." Friend: "Wow, did he show up on time?" You: "Guess."

• Y: "I followed the brief and delivered exactly what the client wanted." F: "Did they like it?" Y: "Guess."

• Y: "I asked my boss for a day off on my birthday (New Year's Day)." F: "What did she say?" Y: "Guess."

-Devin, Copywriter

FOR THE GROUP CHAT

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🍝What you should make for dinner tonight: Avo chicken salad

TODAY ON THE YAP PODCAST

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Want even more “YAP”ing? Check out the full podcast here.

ASK THE EDITOR

Q - I'm the marketing manager for a B2B platform. How should I promote it on socials? -Brian

Hey Brian,

When you're thinking about creating content for a B2B solution, I would strongly suggest building a presence on LinkedIn. The platform is such a powerful tool, especially for B2B businesses.

A great way to start building your brand on LinkedIn is to get your team to start posting. The key here is you all aren't just talking about what you do as a business.

There should be some content around the solution you provide, but have your team also post about projects they're working on, things they're learning, team dynamics, etc. Each person in your team will create content that resonates with a different audience, so as they build their personal presence, your brand will become more well known, too.

- Charlotte, Editor ♡

WHAT DO YA THINK?

PSST…PASS IT ON