1- The Substack nihilist. She’s conventionally attractive, wears glasses, and writes about “the state of things” while raking in 10k/month in subscription fees. 2- The TikTok existentialist. He talks about how everything in this life is pointless (from his gorgeous high-rise NYC apartment). 3- The LinkedIn strategy prophet. After some mild success, he’s now writing philosophical posts about the human condition. We’re seeing these wanna be philosophers popping up everywhere right now. But…why? [Keep reading]

- Charlotte Ellis, Editor ♡

The cringy Musk v. Altman drama ended this week, thank our sweet lord. Today, Snap, YouTube, and TikTok have settled the first ever lawsuit of its kind. Filed by the Breathitt County School District in Kentucky, the lawsuit alleged that social media addictions have cost public schools massive amounts of money. And I’d have to agree. The school district also stated that social media has disrupted learning and created a mental health crisis, straining budgets.

The terms of settlement haven’t been revealed. Meta is still facing trial for the same suit, which is the first of 1,000 similar lawsuits around the States. Many are also apparently pushing for significant changes to these apps to limit the harm they cause to minors, which is well overdue imo. The people have spoken. It’s time these social media giants listened.

The people also spoke up against another popular platform this week but for far less serious reasons. Spotify changed its logo for its 20th anniversary, and users were not happy and lowkey super dramatic about it. Instead of the usual 2-D green circle with three black soundwave lines, the new design looks more like a 3-D, sparkly green disco ball, though the curved lines remain.

And even though it’s supposed to be only temporary, users demanded it be changed back immediately. “I speak for everyone when I say we prefer the old Spotify logo over the new one. The new logo is not giving the lit vibes at all,” one person wrote on X. I actually think it looks really cool? But hey, what can you expect from Spotify users.

Lastly, Warner Bros. Discovery held its annual Upfront event at Madison Square Garden last week, and according to some, it lacked any spark, star power, and “felt more like a wake for WBD.”

Well, I mean, it kind of was. It’s no secret that Warner Bros. Discovery is set to become part of Paramount Skydance this year. The "Upfront" is an annual event where major media companies present their upcoming programming to advertisers. But when there’s no line-up of “fall-slates” or Autumn shows to offer, as it was in this case, you get a pretty boring, and almost entirely useless Upfront (for the advertisers wanting to buy slots, of course). Welp. The red carpet could have probably stayed rolled up for this one.

-Sophie Randell, Writer

You know the post before you even finish reading the caption. It’s a hyper-specific aesthetic: a meticulously poured oat milk flat white, a slightly rumpled linen shirt, $800 Miu Miu reading glasses, and a pristine copy of Joan Didion or Byung-Chul Han resting on a concrete table. The sun is hitting it perfectly.

But the caption isn’t about the coffee. It’s a dense, 400-word paragraph dropping phrases like "the ontology of the digital void" or "navigating the liminal spaces of late-stage capitalism."

It’s giving deep, detached, and… an acute case of modern existential dread repackaged as a luxury lifestyle accessory.

The term "glamorous philosopher" actually first came about in 2022, from Twitter icon @freshhel. But it’s never been as poignant as it is today. It seems everybody wants to perform deep introspective intellectualism while also being trendy and #rich. Yeah, the irony is LOUD.

If you look closely, the "glamorous philosopher" industrial complex usually breaks down into three distinct internet archetypes:

It is easy to mock this (and frankly, it’s fun). But the truth is, this trend is hitting so hard right now because it's a massive, collective coping mechanism.

Think about it. Traditional institutions of meaning have totally fractured. The economic landscape feels like a permanent hellscape. You can’t afford a house, your grocery bill requires a small loan, and AI is threatening to replace your entire job description. When the macro-world offers you zero stable footing, turning your chaotic daily life into a deeply analysed text gives you a (desperately needed) sense of control.

Calling a bad mental health week "an acute confrontation with the existential void" sounds infinitely more romantic than admitting you’re just deeply burned out by modern life. As a writer, I see it as a beautiful defence mechanism.

We are using big words to build a shield against a harsh AF reality.

It’s confusing, deeply unglamorous, and involves a lot of sitting around admitting, "I actually have no idea what is going on."

But on social media, content that’s too raw doesn't really perform. So instead, we get the aesthetic version of depth. We get people who are highly authoritative, incredibly confident, and entirely vague. We are inundated with beautifully written diagnoses of why the world is broken but offered absolutely zero concrete steps on how to fix it.

Looking educated, well-read, and profoundly detached is the ultimate flex. But we have to ask, are we actually looking for answers to the big questions, or have we just decided that looking smart is the best way to look good?

If we reduce philosophy to just another identity we consume to distract ourselves from the void, it stops being useful. It just becomes another trend we ride until it dies. And tbh your strategy shouldn't be about being the loudest pseudo-intellectual in the room… it should be about being real.

So, yeah, read the book, drink the coffee, but maybe, just this once, leave the caption blank.

-Sophie Randell, Writer

Just take this video of three boys attempting a jam session. And, look, props to them for trying - they're just kids, they're allowed to sound clunky and disoriented. But as a drummer who definitely sounded like this at their age, I've got the credentials to say that this ain't it.

The whiplash between the drummer confidently counting the song in and the painfully disjointed performance that follows is immense, so much so it's sparked a new TikTok trend.

Users have been posting about times when the latter part of a song paled in comparison to the first few seconds, or when a hyped-up song was just altogether bad. Unfortunately, whether we're listening to a full song after hearing a TikTok snippet or listening to the rest of an album after liking one song, we're all prone to encountering music that should've never left the studio.

Take this sound, turn the camera around and film yourself excitedly awaiting good music during the drumstick count-in, only to be disappointed once the music starts. Then, add onscreen text describing your awkward music encounter.

A few ideas to get you started

-Devin Pike, Copywriter

😂Yap’s funniest home videos: Work mode or talk mode?
✨Daily inspo: Song motive
😊Soooo satisfying: Hot air balloon DIY
🍝What you should make for dinner tonight: Crispy Tortilla cones wtih Juicy spiced beef topped with melted mozzarella

Hey Rach,

First of all, it's absolutely possible to get into the industry without a degree in marketing. With all the free resources out there, you can take it upon yourself to learn from books, podcasts, YouTube, etc. As far as getting experience, if I were you, I would immerse myself in the industry as much as possible. Go to in-person marketing events. Follow and connect with marketers on LinkedIn. Book coffee chats with anyone who will give you 30 minutes of their time. Not only is this the best way to learn, but it may even lead to an opportunity to intern or get some actual work experience.

- Charlotte Ellis, Editor ♡

We get it. Creating content that does numbers is harder than it looks. But doing those big numbers is the fastest way to grow your brand. So if you’re tired of throwing sh*t at the wall and seeing what sticks, you’re in luck. Because making our clients go viral is kinda what we do every single day.