Don't take your customer's swipe at face value (here's why)

They say actions speak louder than words. And in marketing, that sure as hell rings true.

But, as always in the wild west of marketing, my dear friends, there is a twist: what people do isn’t always as real as it looks. It’s no secret that old-school marketing obsessed over identity: Gen Z, millennials, “yoga moms” and “skater sons.” That era is dead. The real currency now, and has been for a while, is behaviour: swipes, clicks, saves, adds-to-cart.

Marketers like to think this is raw truth. My humble critique?

Most of these so-called authentic behaviours are nudged, gamified, and performed under the invisible hand of the platforms themselves (how ironically meta, and I don’t mean the company.)

Every swipe on TikTok trains the algorithm. Every save on Instagram isn’t just for later… it’s social performance. Spotify Wrapped is so much more than data, but a flex, showcasing who you are (or, who you want people to think you are.)

Strava isn’t there to log your run; it makes you perform your athletic life to your network (because if you didn’t upload your 5k, did you even run? You lazy sack of sh*t).

Behaviour is never neutral. 

It’s shaped, pushed, rewarded. And then brands market back to it as if it’s organic. That’s what makes the jukebox play, baby. Except it’s not playing, it’s skipping. That’s the loop we’re currently stuck it.

Micro-moments > macro labels

Forget “millennial women who drive their $100,000 SUV to Pilates.” Behavioural marketing is about the 11pm micro-moment where someone adds the Pilates grippy socks to cart after a doomscroll. Or the bored lunch-break scroll that leads to a lipstick impulse buy (we’ve all been there). These micro-signals are gold. But they’re also stripped of context. The algorithm knows what you did… but not really why.

This is both the power and the danger. Behaviour tells us exactly when to speak to someone, but not what that action really means. If emotion is the lens that explains how they’ll receive a message, behaviour is the lens that explains when they’re most primed for it.

So, like last time, here’s the contrarian “behaviour palette.”

Where the emotional palette mapped moods, this palette maps the actions that define digital life. So, here’s how marketers can play with them:

• Scrolling / grazing. Low-focus browsing. Think TikTok zombie scroll. Attention is shallow, but constant. Brands should slip in snackable, frictionless content that doesn’t demand too much.

• Saving / bookmarking. Pinterest boards, IG saves, wishlists. A mark of curiosity or aspiration. Brands should meet it with richer, “come back later” content—or better yet, reminders that re-surface when the moment is right.

• Liking / reacting. The lowest-effort affirmation, but not meaningless. Likes signal identity and belonging. People aren’t just liking, they’re saying this is me. Brands can lean into memes, inside jokes, and cultural signals that reward the quick tap.

• Sharing / forwarding. High-intensity behaviour, pure social signalling. People share to flex, to align, to connect. (Think: BeReal dumps, chaotic TikToks, “you have to watch this” Reels.) Brands should design for shareability, so content that makes the sharer look funny, smart, or in-the-know.

• Lurking / watching. The silent majority. They don’t click, but they watch everything. Lurkers are your real audience. Brands should start valuing time spent and quiet attention, not just noisy engagement.

• Carting / wishlisting. The aspiration zone. A half-step toward purchase, but also a digital moodboard. (Who among us hasn’t used ASOS carts as fantasy shopping therapy?) Perfect for nudges, urgency, or reassurance.

• Purchasing / subscribing. The conversion climax. But it’s never the starting point. It’s the accumulation of all the behaviours before it. Stop treating it like the only KPI that matters.

• Repeating / streaking. Behaviours that become rituals. Strava runs, Wordle streaks, Duolingo dings, Spotify Wrapped. The act itself becomes identity. Brands that create rituals don’t sell products… instead, they build freaking cults.

Emotion is the oldest lever. Behaviour is the most visible one.

But marketers need to stop confusing visibility with truth. Much of what we call “behavioural data” is choreographed, nudged into existence by algorithms, gamified by platforms, and performed for networks.

We are not just watching consumers. Consumers are watching themselves, and adjusting their behaviour because they know they’re being watched. Behaviour has become branding. And that’s showbiz, baby!

The challenge isn’t to collect more behaviour. It’s to interpret it honestly.

To ask, is this real desire, or the algorithm’s puppet show? And more importantly, how can we design marketing that respects the difference?

Because in the end, behaviour-driven marketing isn’t about selling to what people say they are. It’s about selling to what they do. And in a culture where every action is tracked, rewarded, and looped back, that’s both the sharpest tool, and the sharpest trap advertising has ever had.

-Sophie Randell, Writer