"Thank you, Chat": Is AI-friendly etiquette really worth it?

We used to worry about table manners - now, we worry about prompt manners.

Do you say “please” to Siri? Do you thank ChatGPT when it gets your spreadsheet formula right? Do you apologise to Alexa when after hurling insults at her for mishearing you 5,000 times? If you don’t, will you be spared when these tools become sentient and attempt to wipe out humanity? Probably not.

Is that why I bring it up? Not quite. It sounds ridiculous, but the way we talk to AI assistants is becoming one of those small cultural signals: a new kind of etiquette that says a lot about how we see ourselves, each other, and technology.

Politeness as performance

On one hand, saying “please” to a bot doesn’t matter. It doesn’t care. There’s no human on the other side rolling their eyes and thinking you’re a b*tch when you skip the niceties. But manners have never really been about the fork or the napkin. They’ve always been about performance; about the kind of person you are signalling yourself to be.

When you’re polite to a bot, you’re not teaching the machine anything. You’re teaching yourself. You’re signaling values. And if you’re a brand? You’re signaling values to your audience, too.

The corporate prompt voice

Think about the difference between:

• “Generate a campaign brief for Q3.”

• “Hey, could you put together a campaign brief for Q3? Thanks!”

Same outcome, but completely different vibe. The first is command-and-control. The second is collaborative, even warm. And if your company’s brand values revolve around being approachable, respectful, or human-first, that tone matters. The way your employees talk to machines can subtly reinforce… or undermine your culture.

Please, thank you, and brand values

There are, of course, extremes. Nobody wants to read a 400-word “dearest AI, most humbly, I beseech thee” preamble – be so for real. But some degree of civility is increasingly becoming a soft skill. Politeness also shapes expectations: if you only ever bark orders at bots, what does that say about how you see junior staff, clients, or your audience? The slippage is real.

Maybe “please” isn’t about the AI at all. Maybe it’s about remembering you’re practicing habits of respect, even in digital spaces where it feels optional.

So what’s the rulebook?

Here’s a working draft of the AI etiquette starter pack:

1. Mirror your brand voice. If your brand is cheeky, be cheeky. If your brand is empathetic, use empathetic phrasing.

2. Use enough politeness to practice the habit. Not Victorian letter-writing, just the basics.

3. Remember the humans watching. Colleagues, clients, or even kids notice how you talk to tech. That reflection matters more than the AI itself.

4. Don’t overthink it. At the end of the day, it’s a bot. Keep your energy for the real people.

AI etiquette is more than a quirky debate for dinner parties.

It’s becoming another layer of cultural literacy. Saying “please” might not change the algorithm, or the outcome. But it changes the vibe, and vibes are currency.

After all, every “thank you” to Alexa isn’t for Alexa. It’s for the humans who see you do it, and the brand you’re quietly building in the process.

-Sophie Randell, Writer