Back in my day, Black Friday used actually be one day long.
(I say mysteriously sitting in a dark corner, in my rocking chair, smoking a pipe, the light from my eyes, faded years ago writing articles about deals while the world burned.)
You have to admit, it was nothing less than utter f*cking chaos. People would literally line up outside Target with paper circulars and tactical gear, waiting for the doors to slide open so they could elbow their way to a $29 DVD player. There were physical fights. Stampedes of humans, willingly being chewed up and spat out by the bleeding jaws of capitalism for 30% off.
It was insane, but at least it was (brutally) honest.
Now, November is a hydra where every head is “slashed prices,” “extended early access,” or “members-only pre-pre-pre-sale,” and the poor customer is the one swinging the sword.
One made of pure confusion at that.
Everything is online. Everything is “doorbuster energy.” Everything is “lowest price of the year,” even when it very much is not.
And I sit here, saying all this like I know better. And I should. I WORK IN MARKETING. But I can assure you, my AfterPay is already stacked. I have four packages on the way. And “Black Friday” hasn’t even started.
There are two sides to the coin here. Consumers trying to save their sanity, and marketers trying to capture attention without committing crimes against their own brand.
So, here’s a cheat sheet for both of y’all.
For consumers: the real rules of the game
1. Most “deals” are décor.
A huge amount of Black Friday pricing is theatre. The price was already that low last week. Or it's been that low all year. Or the retailer quietly raised the price in October so they could “slash” it later. Use price-tracking tools or at least check the product’s 30–90-day history before letting urgency bully you out of your Europe savings.
2. If you didn’t want it before Black Friday, you probably don’t want it now.
Be fr with yourself. The psychological trick of Black Friday is simple. The sale tells you the thing is scarce. The timer tells you you’re running out of time. Your brain fills in the rest with “I need this.” Ask yourself if you'd buy it at full price. If the answer is no, close. the. tab.
3. The best time to shop is not Black Friday.
Most categories (TVs, appliances, Amazon-adjacent gadgets) hit their lowest prices the week before Black Friday. Fashion usually drops prices further on Cyber Monday. Beauty rarely drops prices at all unless it's a bundle. And some retailers drag the whole thing into December out of sheer greed. So treat “Black Friday weekend” as more of a vibe than a schedule. And no, you do not need to set a reminder in your freaking calendar for those shoes.
4. Ignore the countdown timers.
Half of them are fake. They exist to make you impulsive and anxious. Refresh the page and watch the timer magically reset like it’s respawning in Fortnite.
5. Do one thing that sounds painfully boring: make a list.
I loooove lists! Every marketer is hoping you won’t do this because it’s the easiest way to avoid overspending. Write down the five items you genuinely want and stick to it. Everything else is noise. Your bank account will thank you.
Now! For marketers: stop confusing volume with persuasion.
1. (Almost) no one believes your urgency anymore.
Scarcity used to work. Then every brand turned every marketing email into DEFCON 1. “HURRY!” “LAST CHANCE!” “ENDS SOON!” Meanwhile, the sale lasts another ten days. Consumers have fully clocked the bit. If you need urgency, make it real, not theatrical.
2. Clarity is more persuasive than creativity.
What’s discounted? By how much? What’s actually worth buying? Say it plainly. No one has the cognitive bandwidth for poetic riddles like “unlock your holiday magic” when the algorithm is already breaking down their front door with deals. Tell them the price, the benefit, the time window, and move on.
3. Segmenting isn't optional this month.
Sending the same 20% off blast to your entire list is the marketing equivalent of throwing wet pasta at a wall. Personalise by behaviour (past categories purchased), frequency (your VIPs should get early access), and intent (people who browse but don’t buy need different messaging than habitual purchasers).
4. Don’t ruin your margins to chase competitors.
Someone will always discount deeper. Someone will always scream louder. That doesn’t mean you need to gut your profitability to “win” the day. Black Friday is a retention and list-growth event, not a margin event. Aim for volume without cannibalising your December.
5. Respect the post–Black Friday hangover.
The week after Black Friday is a graveyard. People are broke, tired, and sick of emails. Plan a cooldown strategy. Lighter content. Genuinely helpful tips. Soft (not sales-heavy) touchpoints. The brands that rebound fastest are the ones that don’t treat December 1 like “round two.”
6. Emotional tone matters more than ever.
Consumers can smell desperation. They can smell chaos. They can definitely smell when you rewrote last year’s email and hoped no one would notice. The brands winning right now keep their tone composed, respectful, and, dare I say, adult. A little dryness goes a long way.
In a nutshell: consumers want deals, not theatre.
And marketers want revenue, not burnout. Black Friday can serve both, but it requires admitting what this whole event has actually become: not a single day, but a prolonged psychological battleground where clarity, restraint, and actual value cut through the fastest.
Stay safe out there and know this: if the discount was “exclusive early access” yesterday and magically “extended for everyone” today, you’re not shopping a sale. You’re watching improv by a marketing team ready to rip their hair out.
-Sophie Randell, Writer
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